At Second Creek, Colorado, in 1991. Even racing a Pinto with the stock fuel tank didn’t worry me. Photo by Lynette Koch.
It’s that time of year again, when kids celebrate the mythical lifting of the veil between worlds by dressing in costume and going door-to-door on the hunt for candy. As adults, we know the scariest time of the year comes on April 15, when taxes are due, but even flipping on the television news these days is enough to give most a fright. In keeping with this theme, I pose a simple question: Have you ever driven a car that scared you?
Sadly, I have not, and I’m not sure if that’s due to a lack of common sense or a lack of opportunity. I’ve driven many suitable candidates over the years, including a college roommate’s ancient Audi 100, which required hot-wiring the fuel pump relay with a guitar pick to start, had marginal brakes (and I’m truly being kind here) and ran on a set of Michelin radials that were nearly bald and crumbling with dry rot. In good weather, driving the Audi posed little challenge, but one morning-after-a-blizzard trek from Golden (where my girlfriend, now wife, lived) to Boulder, Colorado, was truly the white-knuckled stuff of driving nightmares. Suffice it to say I mastered the Scandinavian flick that morning, and also learned that there are times when a red light means look both ways before heading through the intersection, as losing forward momentum means not recovering it. Thankfully, the roads were deserted, since most had the common sense to stay off them.
Later in life, I was lucky enough to drive a wide array of cars on race tracks, in all kinds of weather. Neither a Cadillac CTS-V, with its formidable 556 horsepower, nor a damp racetrack caused me much concern, and the same can be said of a delivery-miles only Type 991 Porsche 911 on a track best described as “under water.” The 2013 Nissan GT-R, while impressive and adrenaline-producing at speed, really wasn’t intimidating no matter how hard it was pushed in the confines of a track environment.
None of this is to say that my driving talent is exceptional, as I learned long ago that I’ll never be the fast guy in the room. At best, I’m average among drivers with track time, and my greatest skill seems to be the ability to get nearly anything around a track, at reasonable but not record-setting velocities, in a safe manner.
There are cars out there that would surely break my “curse” (the Porsche 917K immediately springs to mind), though I’m fairly certain I’ll never have the opportunity to climb behind the wheel of one for laps at speed. That said, what car (or even what road or track) left you shaking and bathed in sweat, promising that you’d forever drive boring cars if you just survived the day?
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